Reconciliation

That last post was a might harsh. Even if true, none of us are helpless. We choose to allow things to have an effect on us. The nature of life is to re-act, not act. And the power is there within me to do all I can to help them live as best they can. So that is what we do. And if we are unable to free them from their current circumstances, we can at least be there when we are able to share their lives with good times.

Secondly, if I hold on to the anger and anguish it hurts me. I can feel its effect in my body. I'm sure it effects our spirits -- pulling us down and moving us away from the central theme of life. I know it effects me mentally with exhaustion at a time when I need to be focused on the acupuncture boards.

Letting go is the only answer I know of to fill in these empty spaces. I have to give this burden up and pray for their well-being. We are not the controllers of the universe. I sense they understand the dilemma. I always get the same message from both parents -- "how are you", I always ask. "Fine, now that you are hear" -- is their reply.

In those special visits the message from them to me is clear. You can take away my freedom but you can never take away my spirit. Even death is a victory.

I know I need to let go, do what I can, and reconcile the fact that I am not in control.