One Who Cared

A Call to Serve a Mission

I'm sure I have many stories to tell from being in Chile for two years. I'm sure you have many stories to tell. I tell them because they will not leave me alone. They keeping coming to the surface and inspiring me.

I don't know how it happened that I would go to Chile. Like everyone one else I received a call from the prophet of our church. And I remember hearing a audible voice the day the call came which said to me, "you are called to Chile".

I instantly recognized that country because it's narrow, long geography stood out when I read through the Junior Britannica when I was sick at home from school early in life. Copper, many different climates, cowboys, desert to the arctic chills of an ice formed continent.

I told my Mom instantly where I was going. How do you know she said? An answer to prayer I said. The mail man brought the letter that day within an hour of the pronouncement. One who cared for me wanted me to know where I was going and confirm it so.

One Who Cared

That is what a mission is all about. It seems to me that harder that I tried, the less things worked out. The harder I let go and let God lead the work -- everything seemed to fit. One who cared for the people of Chile needed me to listen and obey His word and let go of my own preconceptions of His work.

I remember teaching in a city where we had a political split between members. I could not figure it out. I never did figure it out. In the middle of my confusion I found common ground with the one who struggled with political issues. He was a songwriter and so was I ... so I sang his song and he came to hear despite the split. And I came to know his inner spirit shining through the voice of music to us all.

I am not sure it is important how we struggle with our own inner voices. Were we ones that cared for each other or were we ones taking sides? I asked everyone I could to sing and play and that night was a night of truce and truth.

Music on my mission was a central theme and I often played despite my inability to read. Once I played for a wedding. Another time I helped perform the Wedding ceremony. In a time of crisis members of the church were responding to a call to become more Christ like despite the setbacks of a difficult economy, changes in political views, and widespread unrest as the schism drew serious ramifications to everyday life.

Back to Freedom

I believe these were the saints that were called to lead their people back to freedom. And that feeling oozed out of every pore in my body. I wrote new lines to hymns I dared not sing, words held close to my heart. The greatest struggle we had was preaching the gospel openly, fairly, and squarely.

I'll never forget the prayers of President Gorden B. Hinckley to the people of Chile to repent and call upon the Lord or lose their freedom. A stake was born that led their people to greater strength. The church multiplied at a time of greatest strife and conflict in their world. The gospel was the ring of peace and freedom. It was a clarion of hope to those around them.

One day all foreigners were ordered on the local radio to appear at the local constabulary or be shot. I brought the missionaries to a friendly station. They led me out to a truck due to a simple mistake in my documentation. I was taken to a military site and stood against a wall at machine gun point.

My companion offered to go with me. They told him they would only take him dead. He stepped back and watched me being whisked away with the other undesirables.

In one difficult moment on my mission I was facing a wall with guns aimed at my back. After hours we were allowed to rest against a wall and take a break. An officer came up to me and hit me on both hands before I could pull them out of my pockets with is billy club. As I stepped up to him I felt two cold barrels poke into my sides. We were all taken back to the wall after that tense moment. Any movement or slouching would bring swift strikes to the tired, worried foreigner against the wall.

I was taken to a pit where others were being shot and pushed into hastily dug graves. I was interrogated at gun point and asked pointed questions from angry faces. At one point a circle of officers gathered to grill me. One asked me, "is it true that Mormons have more than one wife?" I smiled and said, "I wish it were true." He started laughing and they all laughed. It broke the ice. One who cared touched his heart and I was taken back to a wall ... interrogated at gun point and, eventually, sent back home.

The people in my house had some contacts in the military that pulled me out of the military site. That led me to a General's home where I could present a Book of Mormon and talk about a living prophet.

One who cared about these people sent us there to give them the one thing that would help pull them through this trial. The gospel of Jesus Christ and the blessing of his servants, the prophets. I recognize that same need today in our own country.

A Personal Choice

Our personal choice to obey the gospel does and will make a difference -- on or off a mission.
It is a clarion of hope for those around us. Like Abraham of old we have a prophet asking to help save our freedom.

I had many days of interrogations from the local FBI-like organization. All of them at gun point. At one point, I stood up and said, "go ahead and shoot me. Or shoot me as I walk out the door. One thing is for sure, you will find me anytime you want on Sunday at church or out and about preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ but I am never coming back to here. If you need to, shoot me as I leave."

I never came back. That trial was finally over. One who cared loved me enough to protect me as I served out the rest of my mission.

Missionaries Invited

From 1972 to 1974 I served as a missionary in Chile.

A Chess Game

It was quite a trip for the missionaries to gather in Conception in our district. We always had stories to tell from the gathering. The weather could be so windy and changing that the umbrellas would throw you completely off balance.

Typically the political climate was tenuous in those times and young soldiers walked around with rifles pointed forward, guarding the streets. It made one a bit uneasy to pass them.

I can remember some great times in that travel time. Like the time my companion and I entered a Post Office passing toward the meeting. The room was filled with tables and chairs -- everyone was playing chess intensely. A British sounding chap asked my companion to play chess and he turned him down. I told him I'd play.

Apparently, the chap had won the tournament and I was the American challenger. This was around the time of Bobby Fischer beating the Russians at chess. I had been good at chess since a young child and could beat everyone in my family. But I did not have the experience at tournaments. The crowd gathered around and silently watched our every move.

The intense pressure made both of us shake while we moved pieces on the board. He would get ahead, and then I would. The power struggle went on for the whole of the match. I finally won the match and had a wonderful time talking about the game with my new found British speaking Chilean friend.

True Christians

As we traveled about as a group, we were picked up by some American missionaries from another church. They invited our whole group to come join them in a meal. They knew we were LDS and up to that point I had not experienced the joy of sharing the gospel with friendly non-Mormon missionaries.

They made home made peanut butter, home made mayonnaise and spread out a true American feast. We did discuss scriptures but it was unique because there were no arguments. They genuinely listened to our story. And I must say we found true Christians in our midst.

Sometimes it was refreshing to be simple missionaries invited, able to laugh and enjoy the friendship of someone friendly around us.

Is Government Help the Only Way?

Is Government Help the Only Way? How ridiculous!

It has been my habit most of my life to not turn to the government for help whenever I can. I also try not to run to my family. I want to make it on my own. It doesn’t always work but the attitude keeps me hopping sometimes when I could have sat around complaining.

I remember the first time I took welfare when a job loss kept me out of work for a few months. I realized over time that I could have taken a job somewhere for far less but did not because I considered it my right to be working in a job that was bringing in more money. What does this have to do with it? I don’t believe that is reality or clear thinking.

I prefer the other reality. I went to work at a bio technical company and saw a sea of companies around me that were striving to gain money from government grants to stay afloat. Our visionary leader had started up over thirty companies with good ideas. His overall focus was to do so only on the merits of it being a good business idea. He sought clients that would pay for research because it made good sense in the market place for this to be developed.

This prince of bio technology companies went on to produce over 50 successful companies before he went on to do other things in his life. What a relief to come to work for someone who strove everyday to be profitable and be of some value to the people and companies around us. We grew carefully as it made sense.

I realized that in my hobby life that my talent for setting bones in a martial art studio had led me to a satisfying talent that I wanted to share in my retirement years. I gave up a great computer career although I still teach in that area to study acupuncture and herbs. I live in a state that doesn’t even recognize acupuncturists as legally able to practice. Insurance doesn’t cover us. Still, I find clients the best I can and I live on less. I take care of the people around me the best I can and it slowly multiplies toward opportunities of service and work.

I think what I’m trying to say is that the American way should be standing on our own first and not depending on a government to hand us anything. I don’t want social security unless I absolutely need it. I don’t want someone to hand me health insurance unless I can’t provide for myself. By default, most of us should be striving to be doing business because business makes good sense to those around us whom we give service.

As I move toward retirement it is being clear to me that retirement is not my end goal. A long and successful life with good work habits and a healthy outlook on life is my end goal. Yes, I may retire as I can but the reality is that I’d prefer to work and help others work around me. Good employment for a good day’s wages is a pleasure in life even if it is not the top wages I pulled down in the computer industry.

At college a friend of mine went on government welfare. I talked him out of it. He and his wife took jobs while he went to school. They still made it. Our intention to take from the government first and not work on our own to pull out of it is not a healthy idea. I admire his fortitude of earning his way through college while raising a family.

Another friend was feeding his children on a government program because his children were underweight for their age. He earned good money in the computer industry but pulled in the government perks because they were there. Another bad idea. When I explained to him the idea of self-respect and self-industry – he quickly agreed and stopped the dole. How many programs do we have right now that give our children free lunches or other free programs from the federal and state grants? Does our government have the money to hand out treats. I personally believe that the federal response at the local level should be the last resort and only called upon when nothing else works – including us.

People should be looking after people – not governments. I think we have the roles reversed. Is that why we elected President Obama for change? To feed our children in lunch programs? To give out free health care and take away personal choices in how and what we believe to be our own personal health care choices? I think we have missed the point for the role of government and we pay a price with the loss of self-respect. We can and must be self-sufficient as a people, as a nation, and as a government.

I often helped people look for jobs while I worked in the computer industry. I helped fill out resumes, gave job interviews, did mock questions with feedback. I was often called upon by my companies to interview people to give a personal assessment, could they do a good job for us? It was thrilling. It was a blessing to me and I cherished those moments. We need that today.

In the job I work in today I often find myself giving care to those who can’t afford it because I am in the business of health care. Often people find themselves stuck without the ability to get better for many reasons. And after a few sessions for free, they sometimes break free and realize, “I can overcome this”. Sometimes the realize “I can live with this and I do have options”. We all have more options than we realize. I will always be grateful to the prince of biotech who led our company with a positive can do attitude and who made all of us think daily, we are here to contribute to the bottom line of profitability in every way. We can contribute positively in our life, in the life of those around us, and into the economy of an open market.

I am tired of hearing out the handouts, the programs, the guarantees, and the generation of good fortune from the politicians of our nation. In reality, I believe he that governs least, governs best.

I don’t believe it is a good idea to close your eyes while in government. Nor do I believe we should place people in homes who can’t pass the regular standards laid out for decades for good business transactions.

We need a return of common sense to our political scene. We need someone who will make the hard decisions to take government out of the picture where we have messed up large industries that were doing much better on their own. We need to savor the programs that are essential and pare down and remove what is no longer feasible because the money is not there. We need to return to moral values in this country that made each one of us self-sufficient, able, and willing to help our neighbors.

Arrivals ... you have mail

Life is an interesting journey. I don't believe in arrivals ... it is the passage of time that never stops that gives all of us the clue that each moment is opportunity to move forward or backward. Life is sufficient in itself.

As I peer out my window this morning into the glistening snow and see the ice forming across the cover on the pool, I marvel at the ingenuity of the animals about us who survive the outdoors and frolic in the daylight hours. I see them peck through the ice or chirp in the trees. How about us -- would we feel so lucky to be alive or would we perish in such hardship? Each of us in our own way carries similar burdens and yet we find our own solace in the sunlight moments. Even now I feel the smiles and laughter of friends as we have many times enjoyed a sunlight moment.

I watched "You have Mail" with a wonderful friend last night and enjoyed every moment of it. Even in pain my friend laughed and we found ourselves both crying in its delightful messages. Good music, good times, and moving through the sunlit hours with joy help us all carry the burdens of life peacefully.

Year End Ramblings

In this 11th hour of the year the night is gently pressing on ushering out another year. What am I to do? I think this is over and over until my stomach presses on me in hunger. It may seem small but the thoughts that lead from one corner to the next are in the driver seat.

Computer programming. I'm still in love with computer programming. I find myself programming everyday on various projects. It is too much fun. If you haven't learned a program -- I recommend squeak -- an open source smalltalk and all you need is a computer. There are hundreds of tutorials. Now I use C++, Perl, Java, and smalltalk. All of them are great languages to learn and one can even find a job using anyone of them. What I love about computer languages is that they are complex enough to challenge even the most dedicated foreigner who wants to be paid while being overseas. It leaves enough room for the rest of us to make a living as well.

Songwriting. It is a love affair I've had with guitar, piano, base, drums, and singing my whole life. I can't get enough of it. I have finally organized my next 6 albums -- none of which are recorded exactly like I want them, yet. But the continuing saga in my life to produce, perform, and publish music is growing hotter. Most of all -- I enjoy every moment of it.

Holistic Practice. The idea of threads of income while learning new skills took off some years ago as I finished acupuncture school and melded the skills of bone setting tui na with the new found skills of Traditional Chinese Medicine. I've had so much fun cupping, needling, using moxa, using herbs, and changing lives. I've held onto many of the principles I learned while studying in bio technology companies and kept building on the theme of looking for underlying causes. Today I am balancing the posture, the energy rivers of the body (meridians), and the body's neuro-transmitters. I feel like I have the x, y, z planes of some newtonian geometry which allows for the melding of three worlds which come together between body alignment, energy meridians, and the body's communication system. I love this stuff and especially have a tremendous awe for what this medicine does for my patients -- and for me.

Warrior. Here I am still doing kung fu. It is the awareness, the knowing without knowing, the simplicity, the letting go of the known to accomplish the unknown, the renewal within expressing its outward manifestation of inner peace, and moving away from the formative nature of endless forms -- formless reality driven from the body finally understanding. I haven't taught it hardly at all. My journey is still quite driven within. I hope some day to share it with more than a patient or two here or there.

Any writer knows the nature of creativity is not something that falls around like rain. Yet it comes and goes like anything in nature can but it sings, it rings, and plays like Peter Pan. I'm not sure if I can be any clearer than that ... that all my life has come to this. It doesn't matter if I sing, if I write, or if I play -- life is living what I most love living every day and in every way it is.

May 2011 be coming more and more becoming.

The Pearl of China

Reading this book by Anchee Min gave me the chills as I thought about years ago reading The Good Earth by Pearl Buck and being absorbed. The Pearl of China is a fictional story based on facts of Pearl's life in China. The names are changed to protect the people in her life. Even after reading The Soul of China I didn't feel the soul of China like The Good Earth. Here are some Pearls of wisdom that came from the life of this wonderful author.

It captures the propaganda war as the communists came to power.

"Your father must learn that we Communists are fighting for a real cause. China will one day be free of politics and religion. People will be their own gods."

Pearl responded that [my Father]

"is God's fighting angel. I don't understand him, but I love him." The quick response was "I could not love my father if he were my political enemy."

And Pearl smiled,

"There is no enemy for me."

Here I find the letting go and going with the flow.

It talked about Pearl's writing methods. Her trick was to think like a Chinese farmer.

"Before planting, the farmer already knew what, where, and how much to grow, the budget for seeds, fertilizer, animals, and field hands. In other words, I try to make the best use of my material."

Harmony with the land and the people blended in ancient China.

A classic line in the struggle for justice in communism,

"Mao doesn't own the party. Communism is about justice and democracy."

This topic is explored in detail as many fell into prison or were shot over differences in belief in the name of communism. The character would say later,

"I am riding the back of a tiger. I will die if I try to get off."

Many have died as The Peoples Republic has taken the lives of more than any other dictatorial regime in history.

Confucius said,

"thirty years in the river east, and then the next thirty years in the river west."

What does it mean?

"In the concept of feng shui, it means that there are equal opportunities in the circle of life."

Hope, in the end this book ends with hope. In a rough series of events this book needs hope at the end for China to survive into the next century.

Finally,

"... to be Chinese means one lives to eat ..."

represents many thoughts throughout this book which explore the Chinese way of life and how it come through a cultural revolution and began to sprout again the essence of Chinese life. If you haven't done it, visit any asian grocery store and get a sense of this bubbling well of life around food. Explore the purple potatoes and black chickens. Ask what is this? over and over until you feel the sense of exploratory hammock that surrounds food in the orient. It gently rocks and is quite amazing.

I am reminded that I spent 19 years of my life studying classic Chinese Arts and practicing Chinese Medicine on my friends with Qi Qong and passive bone manipulation (tui na) before I ever went to acupuncture school. It was a way of life that the masters explored which gave new perspective to healing. My children gained insight into a Chinese world they or I have never seen or explored. It often saved their lives and propelled them to greater heights.

Things are not as they seem

How I love that poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow -- "A Psalm of Life". The grave is not our goal and our souls do live on. It is not the end to have enjoyment or sorrow -- he calls upon us to act and leave our footprints in the sand. Let us be up and doing says he -- the lives of all great men remind us.

It is our choice to be happy or sad. It is our choice to remain where we are or move on. It is our choice to be a victim of circumstances or be in the hum of life doing and becoming. It is our choice to have a relationship or to let it go. And those choices, however hard are freeing to our soul for we are placed here for such choice. I rejoice in the choices we have before us.

Right or wrong choices bring us experience and are for our good. I rejoice on both sides of the coin. It is our time to be alive.

There is so much silence in my journal over February, March, April, and now May. Yet I feel so much movement afoot in my life. It feels so good to work so hard. Many of my patients have gotten better. I've continued to write songs, programs, and poems. I've so enjoyed the life of recording weekly as I work on albums on some of the best instruments in our town. I finally got a set of drums up today next to a great piano that I'm doing the recording on. It gives me a chance to work out percussion, bass, and other ancillary parts.

I've read more than the last 2 years combined. It is so fun reading a book for fun. It is so fun reading books by topic and summarizing them for patients. It is quite a kick to read a book and attempt to glean what I need from it for my life, right now, right here. I've loved trying out grand pianos in various locations. I've played them until I'm exhausted. I've played guitar until I have blisters on my fingers. I feel an urgency to life and it makes life easier for me.

Oriental medicine has become like poetry in motion to me. It is like a second wind of understanding. I'm sure it will continue to grow and blossom in a world that so desperately needs choices in healing. Reality to some people is nonsense to others. Everything is as it should be -- how boring life would be if we all felt the same, talked the same, and agreed on everything.